Reflective Listening VS Active Listening – A Complete Guide

The human race has learned to change and adapt to multiple environmental forces throughout history. The ability to learn new skills that enable humans to survive increasingly challenging environments is possibly the most accurate example in this context. One of the abilities that humans have had since their inception is the ability to listen.

Listening is an essential skill that needs to be developed in every person regardless of age or social role. It is a powerful resource through which we can receive, comprehend, and evaluate the information we get from the speaker.

Moreover, listening enhances interpersonal relationships and improves people’s lives by lowering the possibility of misunderstandings and conflicts. Several listening types and levels can be used in different contexts. In this article, we will tell you about two different listening techniques and compare them, so keep reading if you want to learn more.

What is Reflective Listening?

Reflective listening is a form of listening that includes paying keen attention to the ideas and emotions conveyed by another person. 1  When using this method, the listener summarizes the speaker’s words. The speaker gets the chance to correct any misheard information or provide additional context for the conversation. In reflective listening, the focus is to ensure that the other person is heard and understood clearly. 2

Through reflective listening, the person gets the chance to gather their thoughts and express themselves honestly by asking them a question. There are two principal approaches to reflective listening.

1. Paraphrasing: This includes hearing what the speaker has to say and reflecting on it in your own words. Also, this is typically a good way for both the speaker and the listener to determine whether or not they fully comprehended the message correctly. 

2. Mirroring: This is a more compact and easy method of reflective listening that includes repetition of the main points of the message. It assists you in maintaining your attention for the remainder of the speech and making the speaker believe you are listening.

Principles of Reflective Listening

The following are the fundamental principles of reflective listening:

• Listen first, then speak.
• Deal with individual details rather than impersonal generalizations.
• Recognize the feelings underlying the words to improve your comprehension of the message.
• Describe your understanding of the message in detail.

What are the Skills necessary for Reflective listening?

Reflective listening is divided into two skill categories:

1. Attending Skills

Giving the speaker your physical and psychological focus during a conversation is referred to as attending skills. Attending skills are a way for listeners to show that they are interested and willing to join in with what the speaker has to say. These skills assist in the establishment of rapport with the speaker. Common attending skills are:

• Choosing a peaceful environment that is appropriate for the conversation.
• Turning toward the speaker.
• Keeping natural eye contact.
• Seated at a comfortable distance from the speaker
• Refraining from interruptions, like looking somewhere else, checking phones, or talking on the phone with someone else.
• Keeping interested silence.

2. Reflective Skills

The process of “checking out” involves reflective skills.

Reflective listening skills comprise:

1. Acknowledgment: Listeners show their appreciation with simple phrases and nonverbal utterances that tell they are paying attention to the speaker. Typical examples of acknowledgment responses are “mm-hmm,” “oh,” and “go on.”

2. Reflecting what has been said by the speaker: It is the ability to reflect on meaning, emotions, and content. It entails reflecting the speaker’s thoughts and emotions in the listener’s own words.

3. Summarizing the key points made by the speaker: It involves summing up the speaker’s key points into a concise statement. Thus, this necessitates identifying the speaker’s key points and restating them in the listener’s words.

How to practice Reflective Listening?

Reflective listening is essential. It ensures that the speakers know that their message has been received and understood by the listener. 1  

Here are some ways to put reflective listening into practice in conversations:

• Try to listen more instead of talking.

• Respond only to the personal aspects of what is said other than focusing on inauthentic, vague, or complex information.

• Try your best to remember all the significant facts and details said by the speaker.

• Instead of asking questions or expressing your feelings, beliefs, or desires, re-evaluate and understand what the person speaking has said.

• Maintain an open mind while responding with empathy.

When should you use Reflective Listening?

You can use reflective listening when:

• The other person is more emotionally charged and has a stronger desire to be understood. 

• You decide to take out time to listen.

• You can maintain a reasonable level of separation and objectivity while not becoming so personally invested in what the other individual is saying.

• You have faith in the other person’s ability to manage their own life.

Benefits of Reflective Listening

• Reflective listening has the following advantages:
• It shows the speaker that they have been heard, comprehended, cared about, and supported.
• It provides feedback to the speaker about what they said and how the other person received it.
• It allows the other person to think and express themselves more clearly.
• It lets you confirm your own ability to hear what someone has said.
• You cannot zone out during conversation.
• It makes it possible for others to focus on themselves, relieve stress, solve issues, and express emotions more skillfully.
• It enables others to develop their expression in greater depth.
• It assists the other in finding a solution to their issue.
• It makes you clearly understand what you want or expect to do.

What is Active Listening?

After knowing everything about reflective listening, let us jump to active listening. Active listening calls for complete focus from the listener in addition to nonverbal cues and responses. It shows that the person has given the speaker their attention and comprehended what they are saying. In active listening, you must listen carefully to respond better to what the speaker is saying. The goal is to ensure that the speaker is heard and understood in active listening. 1

People who actively listen are more likely to exhibit nonverbal cues. These signs can be seen in a smile, eye contact, or even the listener’s posture. Active listening plays a crucial role in recognizing and appreciating the perspectives and feelings of others. Not only does it aids in conflict resolution, but it also creates a culture of respect.

Before responding to react, active listening’s purpose is to hear and gather information to comprehend other people and situations. It is the conscious effort to pay close attention, comprehend what others are trying to say, and avoid passing any judgment. 2

Why is Active Listening Important?

Responding in a way that shows you comprehend what the speaker is trying to convey to you about their experience is an explanation of active listening. The other person may feel more at ease and taken care of during the conversation by engaging in active listening. 1

It encourages the other person to feel comfortable and safe. When the other person feels secure and understood, they are more likely to open up. In addition to being essential to a respectful conversation and sincere, empathic engagement, active listening can also generate good feelings. 2

The leaders, administrators, and executives can improve their interpersonal communication and problem-solving abilities by practicing active listening.

The 3 “A”s in Active Listening

It is a technique you can use to enhance your listening abilities. Three primary qualities, attitude, attention, and adjustment, are the foundation of active listening. They are collectively known as the 3As. Let us get to know about each

1. Attitude

The first step toward becoming a master of active listening is maintaining a safe and positive attitude while paying attention to a person speaking ahead of you. You can do a great job laying the groundwork for your open-mindedness by keeping a positive, upbeat attitude.

Know that even if we already have strong opinions or feelings about a subject, with a healthy attitude, we can all still pick up new information from others. Respecting others encourages us to listen more intently and to look past our preconceptions.

2. Attention

Maintaining focus on the person speaking is the second critical element that is essential for improving your active listening skills. We need to pay close attention if we want to listen well. Most of us are easily distracted or have shorter attention spans.

If this is the case, you should practice some exercises to help you maintain your focus on the speaker. You can focus better by solving puzzles and playing mind games. You can also meditate as it is an essential tool for maintaining our attention.

3. Adjustment

Adjustment is nothing more than having an open mind. Learn to adjust with the correct focus. To master this skill, you must be tolerant of the conversation’s direction and pace, even if you think something is off. 

Keeping an adaptable environment can make it simpler for you and the people to approach with numerous ideas and suggestions. When we are willing to put in the time and maintain an open mind, we can adjust to the circumstances and ultimately improve as listeners. 1

How to Practice Active Listening?

Being an active listener requires a lot of focus and determination. Anyone can improve their active listening skills with practice. Following are some methods you can practice to improve your listening skills:

• Pay attention to the speaker.

• Don’t interrupt the conversation, and let others complete it first. Speak during silences.

• Respond to what the other person has said instead of giving unasked-for advice or opinions.

• Be unbiased and non-judgmental to help the person feel comfortable to keep talking.

• Try asking open-ended questions to demonstrate your interest in the speaker and to elicit thoughtful, reasonable answers.

• Seek clarification if necessary to help understand something the other person has said. However, don’t let unimportant details distract you from the bigger picture.

Purpose and Benefits of Active Listening

Being more attentive to what you’re listening to can help you in both your professional and personal lives. Listening helps people feel acknowledged in everyday interactions with coworkers when networking for new opportunities and challenges. Empathy, the main foundation of active listening, is essential for developing healthy relationships.

Furthermore, active listening can improve your ability to control emotions, remember information, and solve problems efficiently. 1

The benefits of using active listening include the following.

• It aids in learning more about a variety of topics. The more information you possess, the better you will be capable of sharing and putting into practice.
• It will help to improve mutual understanding and acceptance.
• It will enable you to view life from different perspectives.
• It will contribute to the development of strong trust.
• It will make you more approachable to people.
• It will help the person to vent.
• It will strengthen bonds between people and foster friendships.
• It will speed up problem-solving.
• It will prevent conflicts.
• It will cut down on mistakes and wasted time.
• It will help polish your conversational skill.
• It lessens the hesitation to carry on the conversation.
• It will help you develop self-worth and confidence.

What are the Skills necessary for Active Listening?

1. Pay Attention

Give the person your full attention and nod in agreement with what they are saying. Look straight at the person speaking and leave all the distracting thoughts behind. You should also pay attention to the speaker’s nonverbal cues. Avoid chit-chatting while listening if you are in a group setting.

2. Ask Open-ended questions

Open-ended questions encourage the speaker to share as much as they can. The more the person talks, the simpler it will be to comprehend what the person wants to say. Don’t ask “yes” or “no” questions; they frequently result in inconclusive results. For instance, instead of asking, “do you like pizza?” (close-ended question), ask, “what flavor of pizza do you prefer?” (open-ended question).

The latter questions maintain the flow of conversation and enable you to get more information about the speaker’s perspective.

3. Paraphrase

Paraphrasing is restating the same things the speaker said. Remember that it is not compulsory to concur with the person speaking when you are paraphrasing. An advantage of paraphrasing is the ability to identify and correct any mistakes by repeating the words back to the person.

4. Reflecting feelings

Reflecting on feelings enables the speaker to pay attention to what they are saying and how they feel. It demonstrates to the person speaking that you are making an effort to know their point of view and to comprehend their surroundings as they do.

Ways to Encourage Active Listening

We have all encountered situations during which our “listeners” were preoccupied or uninterested. So here are some methods:

• Choose a topic that both of you are interested in: When you first meet someone, this works particularly well for small talk.

• Set an example for being a good listener: Listen carefully. That person might improve their listening skills after seeing you engage in active listening.

• Leave conversation if uninterested: If the person is not having any interest in what you are saying, end the conversation.

Comparison between Reflective and Active Listening

We use both reflective and active listening when speaking to someone. Both are essential techniques we use during a conversation.

The primary difference between these two is that in reflective listening, the person reflects someone else’s thoughts and opinions onto themselves. In active listening, the other person wants you to participate in the conversation and acknowledge their thoughts. 1

There is more talking in active listening when compared to reflective listening. By reflective listening, we can serve as an intellectual mirror for them by helping to organize thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Having good communication depends solely on good listening. People can improve their communication skills by listening, which also helps them in their quest to convey their message.

Active listening involves paying thorough attention to the person speaking while having a conversation. The listener must set aside thoughts and opinions on how to respond and focus on comprehending the statement. Nonverbal cues are essential in active listening because they show the person that we are attentively listening to them.

In contrast, reflective listening is just like active listening in some ways because it also requires complete focus on the speaker. The difference here is that the person listening must mirror the speaker’s emotions to demonstrate that they are paying close attention to what the speaker is stating. 

However, both active and reflective listening methods will make things simpler and more purposeful for you to communicate with others. Fully understanding which styles to use at different times is crucial because it allows a person to determine which situations require specific techniques.